I'll admit it.
I often complain about living here in the cornucopia of California, the San Joaquin Valley.
There isn't often a lot to do, although I will admit that things have been getting better on that count for the past few years. I can think about lots of jokes about watching the raisins dry.
But sometimes living here is its own reward, especially if you like a good laugh.
Take last week.
Friday, I was driving down McKinley Avenue and passed a yard sale. Not unusual around here. But the sign in front sure was. In big black letters, on a piece of poster board attached to a shopping cart, was a sign that read: "Fuck it sale".
I imagine that whoever made that sign was feeling very frustrated at the time...the economy sucks right now, after all. But when I saw that sign I started laughing so hard that I nearly had to pull to the side of the road.
Fast forward to the next morning.
I was up entirely too early, on my way to a 9 a.m. middle school football game.
I don't know anything about football, but my best friend teaches middle school and I go out to their football games because hardly anyone else does and I figure that someone needs to support the kids in their activities.
Anyway, I had the radio on and I heard an advertisement for some bars. The names of the bars? The Bar. The Other Bar. The Next Bar. Again, I thought I was going to have to park the car until the giggling fit passed.
And then tonight, as I was coming home from visiting my mother, there was a car stopped at a light in front of me with this license plate frame: "Grow dope. Plant a man". Sexist? Yeah, sure. But would you have thought of it?
The imagination (the license plate frame and the yard sale sign) and the lack of it (the bar names) around here just amaze me sometimes.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
How quirky am I?...I got tagged.
McMGrad89, over at So I Was Just Thinking, tagged me to list seven quirky things about myself.
So, here goes:
1) There are days when I have no attention span whatsoever. Those are the days when it takes me six or seven hours to get 4 hours worth of work done. Is there such a thing as adult-onset ADD? If so, I've got it, because I never used to be this way.
2) I am unreconstructed news junkie. Which probably explains why I've been writing so much about politics here lately. Since that's all, aside from the credit meltdown, that the media is reporting about these days and all. The only reason I don't write about the credit meltdown here is that it's what I've been writing about - constantly - for work.
3) I'm obsessed with the weather. Part of that comes from living in a place where I hate the weather all summer (which lasts about 6 months most years) and a good part of the winter (which lasts pretty much the other six months), and part of it comes from growing up with a father who was similarly obsessed. He could predict the weather more accurately just by going outside and applying trends than most meteorologists can with all their satellites and fancy computers. It's a talent I wish I had.
4) I want to go back to school. No, really. I earned by BA in 2002 and I wanted to go on to work on my Masters then, but real life intervened and I wasn't able to do that at the time. I don't know if that qualifies as quirky, except that it seems kind of odd for someone my age - and who should know better - to actually miss homework.
5) I forget to eat sometimes. I get started doing something interesting and just...forget. One would think this would help me lose weight, but it apparently doesn't work that way. This forgetting does not happen, of course, on those no-attention-span days I mentioned in item #1.
6) When I'm really tired, my internal censor shuts off. Completely. When that happens, whatever goes through my mind comes out my mouth. When I used to work in retail and worked closing shifts, my co-workers always had to explain to new hires that, no, I wasn't crazy or dangerous. I'd sing along with the songs on the in-store P.A. system, sometimes changing the words around since I'm a writer and words are my playground. I'd make silly jokes. I'd answer questions that were not addressed to me. Generally, when this happens to me I just babble. I always think I'm making intelligent, relevant, important comments. Those around me, not so much. I think it is my way of keeping awake when I'd rather be sleeping.
7) I love lemonade, but I will hardly ever drink it unless it is fresh-squeezed. Okay, so I'm spoiled. When I was a little girl, we had a lemon tree in our front yard that bore fruit all year long, so I had fresh-squeezed whenever I wanted it. But, since lemons cost so much these days, I spend a lot of time going to Hot Dog on a Stick, where they have fresh-squeezed all year 'round, just like when I was little. Fortunately, there's a mall with HDoaS, just down the street from me. Even better, they get all their lemons from Ventura County, where I grew up - and where that magical lemon tree was. But, you know, that's the only reason I ever go into that mall...since they got rid of the two bookstores they used to have, there is no other reason to go in there.
Okay. I'm supposed to tag seven people to do this, but since I can't think of seven people to tag, I'm tagging everyone who reads this. Just make sure that after you blog your seven quirks, leave a comment here so that I can come read. Except...John and xJane over at Mind on Fire - consider yourselves tagged.
So, here goes:
1) There are days when I have no attention span whatsoever. Those are the days when it takes me six or seven hours to get 4 hours worth of work done. Is there such a thing as adult-onset ADD? If so, I've got it, because I never used to be this way.
2) I am unreconstructed news junkie. Which probably explains why I've been writing so much about politics here lately. Since that's all, aside from the credit meltdown, that the media is reporting about these days and all. The only reason I don't write about the credit meltdown here is that it's what I've been writing about - constantly - for work.
3) I'm obsessed with the weather. Part of that comes from living in a place where I hate the weather all summer (which lasts about 6 months most years) and a good part of the winter (which lasts pretty much the other six months), and part of it comes from growing up with a father who was similarly obsessed. He could predict the weather more accurately just by going outside and applying trends than most meteorologists can with all their satellites and fancy computers. It's a talent I wish I had.
4) I want to go back to school. No, really. I earned by BA in 2002 and I wanted to go on to work on my Masters then, but real life intervened and I wasn't able to do that at the time. I don't know if that qualifies as quirky, except that it seems kind of odd for someone my age - and who should know better - to actually miss homework.
5) I forget to eat sometimes. I get started doing something interesting and just...forget. One would think this would help me lose weight, but it apparently doesn't work that way. This forgetting does not happen, of course, on those no-attention-span days I mentioned in item #1.
6) When I'm really tired, my internal censor shuts off. Completely. When that happens, whatever goes through my mind comes out my mouth. When I used to work in retail and worked closing shifts, my co-workers always had to explain to new hires that, no, I wasn't crazy or dangerous. I'd sing along with the songs on the in-store P.A. system, sometimes changing the words around since I'm a writer and words are my playground. I'd make silly jokes. I'd answer questions that were not addressed to me. Generally, when this happens to me I just babble. I always think I'm making intelligent, relevant, important comments. Those around me, not so much. I think it is my way of keeping awake when I'd rather be sleeping.
7) I love lemonade, but I will hardly ever drink it unless it is fresh-squeezed. Okay, so I'm spoiled. When I was a little girl, we had a lemon tree in our front yard that bore fruit all year long, so I had fresh-squeezed whenever I wanted it. But, since lemons cost so much these days, I spend a lot of time going to Hot Dog on a Stick, where they have fresh-squeezed all year 'round, just like when I was little. Fortunately, there's a mall with HDoaS, just down the street from me. Even better, they get all their lemons from Ventura County, where I grew up - and where that magical lemon tree was. But, you know, that's the only reason I ever go into that mall...since they got rid of the two bookstores they used to have, there is no other reason to go in there.
Okay. I'm supposed to tag seven people to do this, but since I can't think of seven people to tag, I'm tagging everyone who reads this. Just make sure that after you blog your seven quirks, leave a comment here so that I can come read. Except...John and xJane over at Mind on Fire - consider yourselves tagged.
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