In which I once again meditate on the cult of celebrity...

If you follow along here, you have probably noticed that I'm fascinated with celebrity and the culture that has grown around folks who are well-known in areas like film, television, politics, and sports. So, this story at bleacher report caught my eye.

It seems that basketball player LeBron James got carded in a hotel bar last night. Now, this is amusing, since he is a well-known athlete who is known to be of an age to drink and has been for a few years. I can see how that could get reported in our culture of watching every little move that celebrities make. But a few things caught my eye as being a little over the top in this story/blog post/whatever the hell it is.

First of all, one of the reasons the gentleman who wrote the post gave (there were five on the list) for why James shouldn't have been carded is that he is "one of the most in-shape-looking people in the world". Honestly? I'm not sure what looking in shape has to do with it. There are people in incredible physical shape who are under-age.

But the reason on the list that made me stop and think, "What the...?" was this one: "He's one of the most recognizable people on the planet."

Really?

Okay. I've heard the name LeBron James. I know he's a professional basketball player. But that's about it.

I wouldn't know him to look at him if my life depended on it, and that doesn't concern me greatly. I'll bet there are more people in the world who wouldn't recognize him on the street than there are folks who would. So, when the report begins to revolve around speculation that he was carded because either 1) the bartender wanted to "spend more time with the superstar" or that b) the bartender was "legally blind" and had to "rely on a seeing-eye dog" to do his job, I had to read that paragraph twice to confirm that what I was reading was really there on the screen rather than just me imagining it.

And I wonder a couple of things. Number one, is this writer really so blinded by celebrity himself that he imagines that those he sees as celebrities are universally recognized? The other is, where did he get the idea that it's cool to disparage people (he was basically calling the bartender ignorant) by calling them disabled? The first is just garden-variety celebrity worship, and I suppose it is possible that it was the reason the bartender carded James. Even though, it's still unsupported speculation.

But the second shot at the bartender? That's just unacceptable. I thought we got past that sort of thing long ago. Apparently not, though.

So, just a clue by four (or two) for the writer: No matter how famous someone is, there are still millions - billions, probably - people who have no idea who they are. And, more important, we don't equate disability with stupidity or ignorance. It isn't cool and it isn't cute.

How do you define "celebrity"?

I'm probably destroying my own argument here by even writing about this, but I need this question answered:

Why does anyone, anywhere, think it is necessary to report nationally that Levi Johnston got married Sunday in Wasilla, Alaska? No, really?

Just because he fathered a child with the daughter of a failed vice-presidential candidate and ex-Alaska governor who quit partway through her term, are we doomed to be subjected to reporting about every life move of Mr. Johnston's for the next, oh, thirty or forty years? What relevance does anything he does have to anyone that is not his immediate family?

I'm hard-enough-pressed to figure out why Bristol Palin, Mr. Johnston's former girlfriend and the mother of his son, Tripp (and, while I'm here, who names their kid after a stumble-and-fall, and even misspells that?) was invited - twice - to appear on "Dancing with the Stars". But, I'll give them that her mother was, indeed, a vice-presidential candidate and governor, and so that imparts some sort of notoriety to her.

But, still...how do you explain Levi, and the continued reporting of the things he does? He has never done anything even slightly notable. Really.

People do exciting and wonderful and notable things all the time, and never get so much as a mention in the media. Things that are actually of benefit to their community, to the country, sometimes even to the world. But this...this...hanger-on...why do the arbiters of what gets reported think they must breathlessly report everything he does?

Come on. There are important things going on in the world. There are interesting things going on in the world that, while probably not important, are still much more relevant to report than the fact that Levi Johnston got married.